Editor's note: This article originally aired as part of a series of stories looking at the many faces of addiction, written in collaboration with the Guernsey County Project CHOICES drug abatement coalition.
CAMBRIDGE, Ohio -- Last week, we heard the story of Janet, and earlier this week, the story of Jim, both of whom struggled with addiction themselves from a very young age. But, what if a boy or girl’s exposure to substance abuse comes, not from outside influences, but from within his or her own home?
Karen Yanico is a Licensed Social Worker and Counselor for the Cambridge City School District. Though she now works, primarily, at Cambridge High School and Middle School, In her years as a counselor, she has worked with children of all ages, starting in elementary school.
“I’ve had the opportunity to work in the elementary school since 1999, so a lot of my kids, that I see in the high school and the middle school, I’ve known since they were little.”
As increased substance abuse has encroached on Guernsey and surrounding counties, Karen says she has seen the effects that drug and alcohol abuse can have on developing minds and hearts. Some of the children she has encountered seem to falter under the pressures of the resulting abuse and neglect, while others seem to become more and more resilient in the face of it.
“What makes one child be resilient and what makes someone else have just a terrible time?”
At the first-ever meeting of the then-unnamed Guernsey County Project CHOICES, members from every sector of the county – government, law enforcement, education, mental health services, media, et al. – gathered to share their unique experiences with substance abuse. Karen’s story of one, brave little girl left everyone in the room stunned, misty-eyed and moved.
Karen says that the girl, whose name will not be used in our story, came to her as a second grader after the girl’s teacher noticed that she was often down or tearful. Karen stepped in to provide the girl support.
“Once I got to know her and did some trust-building, where she felt like she could trust me, it became evident that her mom was an alcoholic. Often times, this little girl would describe how she had to help take care of Mommy when she would drink ‘brown stuff.’ That’s what she would call it, she’d drink ‘the brown stuff.’”
Karen said the little girl described her mother’s “favorite cup” from which she drank the “brown stuff.” And when the girl’s mother drank, she began to behave much differently.
“She would stumble, her words would slur, and she couldn’t really take care of her. She couldn’t, you know, make dinner. Maybe [the little girl] would have to make her own cereal, things like that.”
As the girl grew older, the descriptions she gave of her mother’s behavior changed. Alcohol was no longer the substance of choice, for the girl’s mother. Soon, the woman was abusing prescription pills.
“She would describe to me how Mom would use…cutting up straws in thirds, and Mom crushing [the pills] and snorting them in front of her. She would know that that was not a good thing, and it was different than drinking ‘brown liquid.’ It would make Mom act a lot differently.”
The drug abuse had an obvious effect on the girl’s mother, when she used. But it had broader-reaching impacts, as well.
“Often times, the young lady that I worked with…didn’t always get to keep her things. She would have a bike and Mom would need to sell it in order to get money because she was addicted. And always promising, you know, promising to return those things.”
For years, the girl continued to see Karen and talk about how her mother’s behavior was impacting them both. Karen said that one of the hardest things to convey was that the little girl had to protect herself and her well-being, first and foremost.
“Helping her to see that Mom’s alcoholism was not her job. She did not have to make sure that Mommy was okay. That was Mom’s job, to make sure that she’s okay, herself. That she didn’t have to clean up after [Mom] and she didn’t have to make excuses or take care of [her mother].”
That little girl that Karen first met as a second grader is now a teenager. And while the girl’s mother still fights substance abuse, her addiction has progressed from alcohol to pills and, most recently, heroin.
“My young lady is in high school now and she witnessed her mom overdose last year. And [she] talked about how terrifying that was, and how the person Mom was shooting up with seemed very aloof to it. Of course, they were using, too, so probably not in their right mind…and not making good judgments.
“[She described] the anguish and the terror of calling the ambulance to come and try to save her mom.”
The girl’s mother was saved that day, thanks to a dose of the overdose antidote naloxone. But, Karen says, the girl and her mother continue to struggle with addiction in their own ways, and the ways in which it impacts their relationship.
For the once-little-girl, now-young-woman, living with her mother’s addiction is sometimes hopeful, but sometimes seems like waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.
“My young lady will say that the relationship with her mom is one of love and sadness, that’s how she describes it. She says, ‘I love my mom desperately, but I know that I can never really count on her getting clean.’ And that, for her emotional well-being…it’s better for her to just assume that [her mother] won’t.”
“She is optimistic right now. Mom is clean, Mom is going to counseling at one of our area drug and alcohol services, Mom is hoping to get involved in the Vivitrol program. So there are a lot of good things happening.”
“But, my girl, that I work with, she has to continue to keep one foot in hope and one foot in reality that the likelihood of relapse is pretty high, pretty high. So, you don’t want to get all of your hopes up and be disappointed again. I think that’s her way of coping.”
Karen stressed that the girl’s mother is not a bad person. The woman herself has described her substance addiction as “a prison.” But when finding a fix becomes the primary goal of a man or woman’s day, other important things seem to fall by the wayside.
“That’s what drugs do to a family, especially if you’re a parent and you’re an addict. You may have every good intention for your child and you love them very much.
“But once you become addicted, and your brain is addicted to drugs, and your body is physically and emotionally and psychologically addicted, you will do things that you would never imagine doing to your own children by omission. Not being readily available for them, not providing food for them, not being there for them emotionally. And they’re kind of on their own, because your drug use is your full-time job.” ◇